How can you move from self-care to collective care?

Farra Trompeter: Welcome to the Smart Communications Podcast. This is Farra Trompeter, co-director and worker-owner at Big Duck. Today, we’re going to ask the question: How can you move from self-care to collective care? I am delighted to be joined by Lan To. Lan uses she/her pronouns and is a senior consultant and executive coach at Community Resource Exchange, or CRE. At CRE, Lan works at the intersection of human-centered design, strategic learning, and wellness-centered organizational change. She brings over 20 years of experience in education, equity, and executive and organizational development with prior roles at Columbia Business School, American Honda Education Corporation, and the Bonner Foundation, working with various community-based national and global nonprofits. A resident of East Harlem, Lan loves to craft summer rolls, mochi moon cakes, and milkshakes with her two children. And like me, I have discovered that Lan loves chocolate chip cookies at Levain and the chocolate babka at Bread’s Bakery. Lan, welcome to the show.

Lan To: Hi, Farra, thanks for that intro. It’s so nice to be here with you today. I have to share, though, that I recently discovered this place near 23rd and Fifth. It’s called Salswee, and the creations they make are magical melt in your melt-in-your-mouth masterpieces. They’re so beautiful and they taste amazing. You have to go, essentially.

Farra Trompeter: Are we talking chocolate? Jelly? Fruit? What do we have going on here?

Lan To: It’s like panna cotta ice cream with, like, a bit of pie filling and they are able to kind of create it in the shape of fruits and mushrooms and trees and just all sorts of shapes, and you don’t know what to expect when you open it up, right? It’s sort of like that box of chocolates. You crack the mango. It’s not a mango, but inside is something amazing, right? And so it’s definitely something I would say is a CAREpacity-seeking adventure that I would send you on.

Farra Trompeter: Love it. Well, we haven’t even told everyone what CAREpacity is yet, so we’re going to come into that, but it’s all about feeding the mind and the soul, so I’m excited to get into it. Well, Big Duck has had the pleasure of working with you and the team at CRE via technical assistance we both provide for New York City nonprofits through the Department of Youth and Community Development or DYCD. And you and I met for the first time in person just a few months ago at a conference led by Nonprofit New York. In fact, we talked more over food. You can see that food is clearly the shared love language here. And I was there at Nonprofit New York speaking on a panel about organizational resilience, and you raised your hands in front of the audience and actively engaged and shared a concept with the audience there and with me, that was new: CAREpacity, the one you just mentioned a moment ago. I was so intrigued when I heard that term that we spoke more about it, and I’m so excited to have you here today to talk about it. So let’s just start there. Lan, what is CAREpacity?

Lan To: Yeah. You know, that gathering seemed like ages ago, didn’t it? I mean, so much has happened since and continues to be happening. And when we met at that conference, you know, the topic was around safeguarding New York City’s nonprofit sector. And we were weeks into the post-inauguration of the new administration, and folks from across the sector, right? Organizational leaders, nonprofit staff at all levels, advocates, philanthropy, funders, you know, came together because the political landscape had been shifting tremendously and not in support of the wellbeing of the nonprofit sector, its people, or its mission, right? And so as we were sitting there together, one of the thoughts that came to me in that gathering was this idea of anticipatory burnout.

Lan To: And this was sparked from the idea that someone else spoke to around anticipatory obedience, right? That was occurring in some parts of all of the sectors: business, government, nonprofit, right? And this kind of anticipatory obedience was speaking to the behavior that some organizations will self-censor or preemptively comply because of the potential consequences that may be coming their way, given the climate that was being created. And that made me think that there may be levels of anticipatory burnout, right? That folks are preparing for the realities of increased burnout in themselves, but also their teams, due to this challenging environment that is being created and compounded for nonprofit workers. And so just thinking about it, you know, creates stress, you know, just that potentially nothing has happened yet, right? But knowing something might happen takes your cortisol levels up a notch before anything concrete has happened. And that is sort of this level of anticipatory burnout that began sort of popping into my head.

Lan To: So just to finish painting this picture a bit here: So, like, any time organizations are being threatened by funding restrictions or where their missions are being challenged, it can lead to a lot of STUFF at all levels of the organization, internally and externally. And STUFF here stands for Stress, Time constraints, Uncertainty, Fear, and Fatigue, right? And this is the kind of STUFF that gets in the way of being able to sustainably do our mission work as individuals, certainly, but also as teams and as organizations. And I would even say as a sector, as a whole. STUFF is what creates that collective disturbance that ripples out from one end and begins to impact an entirely seemingly separate space, but actually is interconnected. So, how do we address all this STUFF that’s coming up, right? And this is where CAREpacity comes in, right? So finally, to answer your question, CAREpacity

Farra Trompeter: I appreciate the lead-up, you know, brought us down a journey, but yeah, we’re going to come back to it now. So yes, what is CAREpacity?

Lan To: Yes. So CAREpacity is our framework at CRE for embedding care into how nonprofit organizations work, right? It’s multidimensional, and it’s an intersectional lens on workplace wellness. It’s multidimensional because it lives in four dimensions: personal wellness, interpersonal wellness, organizational wellness, and community and societal wellness, right? It’s intersectional because it’s important to acknowledge that access to wellness will vary depending on your context, your identity, your privilege, right? And these two lenses together, the dimensions and the in and the intersections, is where CAREpacity works, right? CAREpacity works to expand our ability for self-care by developing better ways to foster collective care.

Farra Trompeter: I want to talk a little bit about that organizational wellness piece, and as you were talking right about this idea of anticipatory burnout in the beginning. And there’s a lot that many organizations, many of us, are responding to and having to react right now. But I want to think about those who are also trying to be proactive. And I’m curious, how does CAREpacity connect to creating a culture that is inclusive and fosters belonging?

Lan To: Yeah. So if we think about capacity as our experience, our knowledge, our expertise, our skills that we bring to the workplace, CAREpacity is about the energy it takes to tap into all that, right? It’s about the care required to build capacity, and it’s connected to the capacity we need to practice care. It’s essentially strategy for organizational wellness, right? So the best way for me to kind of weave in how culture and inclusivity sort of connect to all of this is to ask you a question about whether you’ve seen Encanto. Have you seen it? Encanto?

Farra Trompeter: I hate to admit it, that I have not, but I have been told, I remember I ran into a little child, and with my curly hair and glasses, she thought I was one of the characters.

Lan To: Oh my goodness. I just noticed this. Yes, yes, you may very well be a lead for Encanto, right? If it’s okay with you, I just want to share a little, a little bit about it.

Farra Trompeter:I’ve heard It’s great. I need to see it.

Lan To: It is, it’s fantastic. I would recommend it to everyone and anyone. And after I tell you about this metaphor that I use with Encanto, you will definitely look at it through a different lens, even if you’ve seen it before, right? So it really is such a great story about how we can move from burnout to belonging. And so much of it lies on four needs in the workplace, right? The four needs are: to be seen; to be valued; to be respected; and to be protected, right? And there might be spoilers here for those of you, like you Farra, who haven’t seen Encanto. So here’s the alert for anyone who hasn’t seen it and wants to: you can mute me right now.

Lan To: But in the story Encanto introduces us to a magical family, the Madrigals, right? Each are blessed with a unique gift except for the main character Mirabel, who appears to have no gift, right? As the story unfolds, we begin to see that what’s really at stake isn’t the individual gifts; it’s the well-being of the family system holding all the magic together. And this is where the metaphor begins to tie in CAREpacity, right? Each Madrigal represents a kind of capacity, right? Strength, healing, foresight, creativity. We can think of these as the kinds of gifts that nonprofits carry, right? The skill sets, the programs, the services, advocacy, innovation, right? And your people are who carry out these gifts. But what happens when the pressure to keep producing results, to live up to expectations, or to constantly hold everything together, starts to crack the foundation?

Lan To: And that’s what happens to the casita in the story. The home that houses all of the Madrigal family, the walls begin to crack. There’s unaddressed pressure, there’s silence, there’s fear, and there’s an over-functioning that starts to destabilize the foundation. And it’s Mirabel, the one with no gift, seemingly no gift, right? Ends up being the one who sees the cracks first. And in doing so, she invites a different kind of strength, right? The strength of care, of being present, of naming the hard things, of reconnecting relationships, and rebuilding trust, right? She models how repair and regeneration can be just as powerful, if not more so, than performance. And that’s CAREpacity, right? That’s what inclusive caring leadership looks like. It’s not just about helping people work harder or smarter or better. It’s about tending to the underlying systems that hold us together, right? And making sure that those systems aren’t built solely on pressure or sacrifice or silent suffering, right?

Lan To: CAREpacity is helping organizations look at the foundation, the culture, the relationships, the policies, the unspoken expectations, and rebuilding from a place that centers care, inclusion, and sustainability, right? Because just like Encanto, and I’m going to share this with folks who know the movie, who know the music, and they will appreciate this, and you will too, Farra, because you’re going to watch the movie and you’re going to be like, “Yes, absolutely.” Right? So just like Encanto, if we want the magic, if we want our missions, our work, our impact to burn bright and last, we need to take care of the house, we need to take care of our casita, right? Which means that we need to take care of each other and of ourselves.

Lan To: So, five things. We need to look at the surface pressures people are experiencing, and what’s underlying; We need to talk about Bruno; We need to let people be seen for what else they can do, right? And there needs to be healing and restoration, like caterpillars transforming into a butterfly. And lastly, we need to create conversations and communities where all of us can show up, right? Without perfection, but with united purpose and connection. For those of you who are listening, who know Encanto, you will notice that I used the last five tips related to the hit songs from that movie. So hopefully that’ll stick with you and inspire you into greater CAREpacity as you are listening to that soundtrack.

Farra Trompeter: I have heard the reference to the “talking about Bruno” before, so it’s all coming full circle to me, and I’ll definitely cue up the movie. Well, you know, we’ve got a lot of managers and directors of organizations that I know tune in and listen to this conversation, and I want to bring it to them. You just laid out things that folks can do. And I want to add to that. And as we think about what a leader does to guide their organization, what’s the difference? Or how can they tell whether their staff are surviving or that they are thriving?

Lan To: Yeah, that’s such an important question, you know, and especially for managers and directors who are navigating both the operational as well as the emotional ecosystems of their teams, right? So I will offer this simple, but hopefully powerful tool from our CAREpacity framework to help folks think about this, right? And we call it the emotional energy matrix. It’s a lens that helps managers assess where their teams and individuals on their team might be in terms of how they’re operating emotionally and energetically. So, imagine four quadrants. If you can see these four quadrants, and on the y-axis is energy, low to high. And on the x-axis is emotions, negative to positive. So that means at the top quadrant, this is if your team feels frustrated, right? There’s negative emotion here, anxiousness, irritability, fearfulness, but they’re still getting things done, right? They’re still high energy. This is what we call survival mode, right? That’s high energy, but negative emotion. Productivity might still look okay on the surface, but it’s driven by stress and unsustainable pressure. It’s where burnout begins to brew.

Lan To: And then if your team is enthusiastic and engaged and alive, they’re in performance mode. Performance mode is this part of the quadrant on the right, where there’s positive emotions as well as high energy. And that’s the sweet spot. That’s where the mission and morale meet. It’s where the teams begin to thrive.

Lan To: So if folks are exhausted, though, they feel empty, they feel discouraged, you’re likely in burnout mode. And that’s the low-energy, negative emotion zone. Productivity starts to drop. But even more critically, people begin to emotionally check out, right? It’s a red flag that care is urgently needed.

Lan To: And then the last quadrant, that’s our restoration mode. This is often where we can quickly overlook the need to spend time in this quadrant, right? This is low energy, but positive emotion, right? So you want to think calm, rested, peaceful. It’s not like a lazy space. It’s recovery, right? It’s where people go to replenish before they can return to high-energy performance. And if your team isn’t accessing this mode, they’re not regenerating what the work needs in order for them to move into performance mode. So, when I think about how leaders can access this, once you recognize these energies and recognize how the matrix moves, you can begin asking questions, “What energy is driving our work right now? Fear or purpose?” You know, “What emotions are people carrying into meetings or into deadlines or into the unknown,” right? I won’t use a Frozen metaphor here. Are we making space for restoration, or are we just pushing through performance at all costs, right?

Lan To: Sometimes organizations will move from survival to performance, to burnout, to survival, to performance, to burnout, and they forget the restoration zone completely. Or they have a restoration zone, but it’s short-lived, for instance. You hopefully will never experience this or have never, but I’m sure folks experience going on vacation, they come back refreshed, they’re dewy. But by the end of the day, or maybe even by mid-morning, that dewiness disappears, right? They’re having to unpack all the emails, the messages, the projects. And so the conditions for having that restoration zone really sustained isn’t present within the organization, right? And this is where CAREpacity is asking us to shift. CAREpacity is asking us to think through, you know, is the restoration or performance zone getting zapped because of poor wellness habits of your individual worker? Or might the conditions for wellness need conditioning? And so CAREpacity is inviting managers and directors to not only look at how you manage your people, but how you tend to be emotional in CAREpacity-building infrastructures that hold your team together, right? You’re not responsible for everyone’s feelings at work, but you do need to create conditions where people feel seen, supported, respected, and safe enough to move through all four quadrants of these energy zones, right? And that’s, that’s what allows people to really be in teams that thrive.

Farra Trompeter: That’s great. Well, we have to wrap up in a moment, but I’m going to ask you one last question. I know you’re great with these frameworks and these acronyms and these stories. So I know there’s another one you’ve been using, which is HERO. And I wonder if you can unpack what HERO is and perhaps suggest one or two things people can do to foster HERO on their team.

Lan To: Yeah, absolutely. So if your organization or your team is experiencing a lot of STUFF, right? Like, how do we begin to combat STUFF? And we do that by calling in our HEROes, by building in HEROes, right? And so hero stands for Hope, Efficacy, Resolve, and Optimism. Hope is what fuels our belief that something better is possible and worth working toward, right? Efficacy means that the people in your organization feel confident in their ability to take action and make a difference. Resolve is sort of like taking resilience to another level. It’s about showing up in a sustainable problem-solving way that isn’t about bouncing back, but about moving forward in order to take us to a different place. And Optimism brings in this future orientation. This is the spark, right? This is the fuel that allows for us to move towards collaboration, move towards creativity that is so important to inspire Hope, Efficacy, and Resolve.

Lan To: So in a HERO culture, you’ll see the staff who are going to be energized, they’re forward-thinking. Teams that are communicating openly and with trust. There’s going to be a culture of shared accountability, of generosity. And there’s going to be space for rest as well as for innovation. There’s a strong sense of belonging, purpose, and possibility for those of you out there who are listening, and you’re wondering, “Well, so how do I build a HERO, right? Like, how do I begin to do that?” So you want to be able to name the stuff, right? You want to be able to create space for honest reflection and ask, “Where are we seeing signs of stress, fear, fatigue,” right? How do we normalize naming what’s hard? So it’s not just living under the surface.

Lan To: You also want to be able to model the behaviors of being a HERO, right? Leaders who practice Hope by naming a better future are able to exhibit Efficacy by inviting other people to problem solve with them, are able to lean into Resolve by being consistent and caring, and also, you know, leaning into Optimism, right? Reminding the team of their strengths, their past wins, their current wins, right? These all help to create traits that ripple across the organization so that the aspect of HERO begins to be a part of your culture. So I would also say that you want to protect restoration. We want to schedule downtime, limit after-hours emails, or you know, do that really cool, you know, schedule send thing. I think that’s awesome. Treat rest as strategic, not indulgent. And when staff have room to recover, they can really reconnect better with purpose, right? And sometimes that recovery requires a collective pause, not individuals taking vacations at different times, but having the whole organization pause together so that when you restart, everybody restarts at the same place and there’s no catch-up and there’s no sense of feeling behind because you all paused together. Yeah. So those are just a few things that can get you started to build HEROes.

Farra Trompeter: That’s great. Yeah, on that last point, we’ve been experimenting with closing a Friday periodically, that we all are out for. It’s been helpful to know that everyone is out to your point, so that you’re not on vacation and coming back from a million Slacks and emails, but everyone is coming back, and actually, there aren’t that many Slacks and emails because everybody was gone. So, yeah, that’s a great point. So if you’re out there and you’d like to learn more about CAREpacity and how Lan and the team at CRE can help strengthen your nonprofit, visit crenyc.org. You can also connect with Lan on LinkedIn and, you know, send her requests or recommendations for food and movies to check out. But Lan, thank you so much for being here today.

Lan To: Thanks, Farra. Take care, everyone.

Farra Trompeter: Yeah. Take care of yourselves and your organizations. Be good.